Perfection and obsession…the need to impress others and yourself. Why??
There’s so much I want to say about this topic of perfection, I don’t know where to begin. Where shall I begin?
Over the years, I’ve watched and listened to clients who live out of balance in their own lives. I have even watched myself chasing after the wind… and only to come up feeling exhausted. You can be out of balance by working too much, exercising too much, socializing too much, buying more than you need, and obsessing about what you don’t have, or what you lack.
It’s okay to want to be better and do better in life. But, seeking balance should be the true goal to true happiness and good health. In my mind, I’m thinking about where perfection seeking comes from, where does seeking more stem from? There’s always a root cause of everything. Here are my thoughts…
I think insecurity is one force that drives a lot of people into living out of their means and obsessing over their looks. When we’re insecure about something, we want to seek validation through others, and one way people may do that is by working for things they don’t need.
For example, I know of a few people who lease expensive cars that are more than their mortgage payments each month, while they won’t buy Organic Food for their health. Isn’t that silly? I’ve also noticed a lot of people being driven to focus on body image so much, that it’s actually made them unhealthy to the point of getting a disease. I know of some people who will exercise and take selfie pictures everyday in fear that they will gain just a little bit of fat. Their obsession with their own bodies and their deep insecurities drive them to ignore others around them. Some will lose relationships over their own vanity…because they can’t see past their own insecurities, which in fact becomes narcissistic. How can anyone genuinely care for someone else when they’re obsessed with perfecting themselves?
I think fear is a really big driving force behind perfection. Fear of not having enough, fear of being too old, fear of being alone, because one doesn’t live up to what society thinks you should have…..and look like. Our culture today in America is really good at making people think they won’t have enough to retire on, or aging isn’t attractive. How many retirement commercials do you see on television, or Botox commercials?
I believe anger and loneliness can drive someone into seeking perfection at an unhealthy level too. If someone is angry, or lonely they might seek to cover up that pain by obsessing over behaviors that become an obsession. Sometimes those behaviors can become addictions and the true root of the behavior never gets healed. I once had a client who lived on a fixed income, but yet she bought items in her house that she had two of everything she never needed.
We all have different issues we can work on as we age. Are you seeking too much perfection? Do you obsess over a better, or much cleaner house at the expense of never really enjoying people in your home? Have you not enjoyed the beach, because you were afraid what others might think you look like in a bathing suit? Do you own things that own you? Do these things take up your time, preventing you extra time with family and friends? Do you seek perfection in relationships without giving back, because you’re afraid to give up obsessions you’re holding onto? Have you become addicted to wanting to be perfect?
Trying to be perfect can take your health out of balance. It can cause insomnia, fatigue, eating disorders, depression, weight gain, inflammation in the body, pain and anxiety. How can you bring yourself back into balance? Who will benefit from you becoming more balanced in your life? Where can you start? Are you tired of trying to be perfect? Stop chasing after the wind and be honest with yourself……..doing less sometimes equals more.
1. Stop comparing yourself to people on Facebook and spend less time on Facebook.
2. Replace negative words about yourself with good ones.
3. Replace extra expensive material items with more affordable ones to free up more time with family and friends.
4. Take less pictures of yourself and more pictures of nature. Put positive focus on natural things that make people smile.
5. Learn to be yourself without seeking approval from others.
6. Remove vain, negative and materialistic people from your time.
7. Find ways to give back to people in your community. (family, friends, strangers in need)
8. Make a list of things you’re thankful for that you already have.
9. Come to terms with past anger by seeking prayer and forgiveness.
10. Ask others close to you for suggestions on how you can improve.
11. Avoid television shows, magazines that influence vanity.
With more than 24 years of diverse experience in the health and wellness industry, Jaime has
dedicated her life to caring for and enabling people to increase their overall wellness.