TLC

DON’T LET YOUR CLOTHES WEAR YOU!

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Don’t let your clothes wear you

 

A few months ago, I was watching the classic movie, “Gone With the Wind.”  I’m sure most of you over 35 years old have seen it at least once replayed on television (shame on you if you haven’t – watch it with some friends!). Aside from the film’s historical significance, the dresses and other costumes are amazing.

 

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During one scene, the main character, Scarlett O’ Hara, was in the bedroom with her servant who was putting on her corset. Back then, women wore corsets under their dresses to lift their breasts, make their waistlines appear smaller and they have even been used through history to help correct posture. I’ve always loved the way a corset enhances the female body and admire some of the extravagant styles throughout European and early American history. 

 

In the 1930s and through the 1940s, my grandmother and her generation wore girdles under their clothing with the same purpose that the corset had years before. Beautiful pictures of perfectly-fitted A-line skirts that gave women sleek looking frames graced most of the fashion scene at that time. When I take a closer look at some old pictures of my female relatives, a lot of them didn’t exercise or diet as my generation does now. My family lived in the city of New York, walked a lot and always seemed to be eating whatever they pleased. In fact bread, pasta and cheese was on their menu most days. Despite the fact that they ate whatever they wanted, they still looked incredibly stunning and slim – with smiles on their faces.   (My Grandparents and family in photos below.)

 

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For me and most of my friends, growing up in the 80’s and part of the 90’s, MTV was a big deal. Supermodel Cindy Crawford was everywhere and hosted a show, “House Of Style” –  remember  that? Every now and then,  if I wasn’t listening to a music video,  I would stumble across her show. She covered the latest clothing styles and trends and gave suggestions on what she thought people should do with their wardrobe. I will never forget one statement she made about picking clothing styles for your body type. The gist of it was that everyone has a different body type and a different personality, so why be uncomfortable in something that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself? She said, “Don’t let the clothes wear you, you wear the clothes.”  I have never forgotten that quote, and always try to remind myself when buying clothes that just don’t fit my body type.  (Cindy Crawford back in the day on “House of Style” in photo below.)

 

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How many of you have bought jeans that are too tight or skirts that don’t lay right around your posterior? How often do we buy material that makes our frame look larger than what it actually is? We end up buying these types of clothes, wear them and then possibly feel miserable or less confident about ourselves. When we choose the wrong clothes for our body type, it leaves us in a bad mood and challenges our thought process of how we feel about our bodies. What can you do so your clothes don’t wear you? How can you look put together at work and when you’re being social?  Let’s start by being honest with yourself.

 

 

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For me, that means I don’t buy “skinny” jeans! Why? Well, I work out a lot and have muscular legs. Skinny jeans would make me look like I had big thighs, when I actually have muscular ones. So, I don’t buy them even though that’s what’s in style these days. What about when you feel bloated? Don’t wear form-fitting clothes on those days. Instead, try to dress for comfort and you won’t be reminded of how bloated you feel. Living in Florida, where it’s warm most of the time, skin-baring styles exist year-round but that doesn’t mean those styles are the best for your body type. Choose outfits that enhance your strong points and leave you feeling confident no matter your size.

 

In the sauna at the gym the other day, I overheard another personal trainer speak to her female client who was slightly overweight and in her 50s. She said, “It doesn’t matter what size you are right now, you need to make the choice to be happy no matter what stage of life you’re in. Being healthy should be your main goal – not worrying if you will be a size four.” I loved hearing that! We can be hard on ourselves, and I find myself doing it every now and then as well. We’re exposed to so many images daily of what size society thinks we should be (it’s madness to say the least). Collectively, we have more important things to worry about in life than to focus on constantly seeking vanity and trying to portray an image that is approved by all people. 

 

So when it comes to your clothes, classy and comfortable wins over trendy any day. The next time you go shopping, keep Cindy’s advice in mind and I think our grandparents would agree!

 

 

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CAN A MONKEY EXERCISE? WHY CAN’T YOU? EXCUSES!!!

No more excuses: Stop being a baby about your health

 

 

'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

 

I was in the mall one day getting a pedicure, relaxing and trying to wind down from my crazy week. Usually, I try to get at least one massage a week and a pedicure twice a month to pamper myself. As I was sitting there enjoying the soothing foot massage, I couldn’t help but hear a screaming child across from the nail salon.

 

There was a lady in her mid-thirties pushing a stroller and carrying another screaming child about four years old under one arm. She was trying to walk away from a vending machine that had snacks and sodas in it. I could hear her four-year-old boy screaming and kicking her while saying he wanted the soda. Even though the mother kept telling him no, this tough little kid refused to let up. He somehow kicked his mother hard enough in the leg to break free from her Bruce Lee grip. He ran like a mad man all the way back to the vending machine with tears rolling down his face. He kept pointing at the machine and yelling, “Please, mommy!” The mother was losing her patience slowly, and I could see this interaction escalating.  She kept repeating herself by saying no over and over again. She kept telling him it wasn’t good for him and began to walk away leaving him standing there all by himself. When he finally realized he wasn’t getting his sugar fix, he had no choice but to follow his mother home. 

 

After I witnessed that entertaining little episode, I began to think about how similar a lot of people are today with their food addictions and the quality of their health. Do you know what I’m talking about? You can go to any Walmart, mall, or football game in America today and take notice that most people are at least 30 to 50 pounds overweight. Most suffer from digestive issues, depression and bad posture. It’s very easy to observe this if you’re in a healthy condition yourself. I’ve been working in the health and wellness industry for more than 20 years now. I can tell you that I’ve heard every excuse under the sun why someone can’t, or won’t, make better lifestyle choices.

 

I’ve witnessed clients who hold Ph.D.’s and some who are extremely well off financially, that display complete ignorance and laziness when it comes to eating clean food and exercising. There’s also a large amount of people who actually believe there’s nothing unhealthy about them while they take blood pressure and acid reflux medication at 29 years old. Conventional medicine today and the doctors that support unnatural ways of being healthy are all either oblivious, unattached to their patients true well-being, or just don’t care. Sometimes I can become disheartened because I love people and I know the road they’re going down. They’re not yielding to all the warning signs that are right in front of their faces. They’re sort of acting like the kid in the mall who just wanted that soda and didn’t care what his mom said.

 

Some people can be complete babies about their health. Are you being a baby? Before I started writing this post, I made a list of the funniest excuses that I’ve heard of why some people don’t have the time to exercise, eat better food and who also believe they’re not overweight, even though they appear 30 pounds heavier than what they should be. 

 

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Excuses to staying unhealthy

 

  • I’m 70 pounds overweight because I had two kids, 20 years ago.
  • I don’t understand why my back hurts when I walk from my car to my office building every day. (Female who’s 50 pounds overweight and 30 years old.)

  • I don’t have time to make healthy meals, I will usually just buy Lean Cuisines. I can’t understand why I have high blood pressure. (Someone with a master’s degree.)

  • I’m part of a running club and we run five days a week. We usually will stop and have a few beers after. I keep trying to run to lose my gut that I can’t seem to get rid of. (35 year old male with a Ph.D.)

  • Organic food is way too expensive. I can’t see spending any more money on food. Did you see my new Porsche? (Overweight, 45-year-old male).

  • I’ve suffered from a lot of joint pain and the doctors have diagnosed me with arthritis. I take medication and it’s still not working. Do you think if I actually walk it might help? (Too many people to list on this statement.)

  • I actually did try walking this week and can you believe my back pain went away? I can’t believe if I walk I feel better. (This is a very common comment.)

  • My parents were overweight, my Grandparents were obese … so I will be too. It’s genetic –I can’t fight it. (A lot of people believe this.)

  • I’m getting a divorce. It’s time for me to start taking care of myself. (This one I have to chuckle every time I hear it.)

  • You want me to actually eat fresh food every day? (Really, this one just gets under my skin.)

  • I only drink a few drinks every single weekend. I don’t understand why I can’t lose weight. I seem to feel depressed a lot too. (Yup, they say it a lot).

  • It’s so much easier for me to take the kids to McDonald’s to get what they want when I have a busy week. Oh by the way, I’m taking my child to see the doctor because he’s been having food allergies. (I want to adopt other people’s kids when I hear this.)

  • I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I still drink wine every night – what’s wrong with that? (This one makes me mad because I love my clients and seeing them pass away is very hard.)

  • I have colon cancer and the doctors tell me there’s nothing as far as nutrition that I can really do. (Yes, this is a real kicker hearing that one.)

  • You’re telling me that going out to dinner is unhealthy? (A lot of people think restaurants make their health a priority.)

  • I will start eating healthy when the New Year begins. Gosh, I have no energy to do anything.

  • I’m fat already so what’s another five pounds.

  • Life’s too short, we should eat what we want.

  • The gym is too far from my house.

  • My husband makes me eat a lot of food.

 

It’s true, I hear all of these often. I could probably list pages of excuses, but I think you get my point. Some of them sound undeniably crazy. There are a lot of people that do want to change their health and their habits. When they educate themselves and really begin to be honest about how they feel on the inside, they can begin to see change and move forward. For some people, they have to hit rock bottom with their health and weight, and others sadly never change.

 

However, the ones that I’ve worked with over the years that stayed committed and motivated look back at their lives and see what distractions were taking them away from reaching their best. When you feel at your best, you enjoy life and you’re able to serve your family with complete joy. Take a moment and make a list of distractions in your life that are taking you away from being healthy. Is it the food at work, are you working too many hours, are you going out to eat too much, are you around people who are toxic? Everyone can always do better. I know it’s easy to make excuses, but stop being a baby! Get going! Get motivated! No more waiting! Just do it! God gave us all one life and one body to use. It doesn’t matter how old you are. Life can restart for you and get better as you age. I say this with love and respect to all of you.

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NATURAL WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR SEX DRIVE

Easy ways to increase your sex drive – naturally

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So, was it the word “naturally,” or the word “sex” that got you to click on this article? Don’t lie to me! I’ll take either – I’m just thrilled that you’ve decided to read this.

 

How many times do you think we’re exposed to subtle or overt sexual messages on a daily basis? A couple times? More than a handful? Sexuality is exposed a lot in American culture through ads on television, online and even magazines right at the check-out counter in the grocery stores. It’s undeniable – sex sells and it’s right in front of our faces.

 

Usually, we’re either drawn in by really young, attractive women or younger men who are tan and seemingly perfect. There’s also the other end of the spectrum with pharmaceutical advertisements targeting an older demographic. How often have you seen a commercial with a 60-year-old man riding a bicycle in a park with an attractive woman close to his age? As you watch, you begin to realize it’s not about the couple biking in the park at all. It’s about erectile dysfunction and the commercial is an advertisement for a drug by a toxic pharmaceutical company. As the couple smiles and continues to biking with the anticipation of this mountain-sized erection at the end of their journey, the drug company lists all the side effects of the drug once you’ve been baited into believing this is helpful and positive. I really wish they would show the end result and cumulative damage these drugs have on people who use them long term. Where’s that commercial?

 

The problem

Let’s be honest sexuality is a huge part of life and a big part of our health. I have a lot of married couples in my wellness business who have been married for years and truly do love each other. I have a lot of divorced clients who overwork themselves and don’t have time to date.  I also have younger clients under 35 years old who are taking all sorts of toxic, unneeded medication such as Cialis, and blood pressure and cholesterol medicine. A lot of these sexually-enhancing toxic drugs are being taken by men who should be healthy and are under the age of 35 years old.  I even heard from a close relative that a lot of his late 20-something male friends take many of these prescribed pills as well, and some even younger men are taking Viagra.

 

In my business, I’ve heard more than a handful of private information over the years that would make some of you crawl up a wall. Sometimes it’s entertaining and some of it’s really shocking (to say the least). There are also times where my heart goes out to people who are truly unhappy about the way they feel and are just caught up in a routine that they don’t know how to get out of. I can recall anywhere from my high school days and even up through my 20s and early 30s you would see more couples kissing in public – being affectionate and looking vibrant. Today, it seems most people are slumped over, running ragged, over weight and have an expression of anger and sadness on their faces.

 

Let’s fix this!

As I talk more to people over the years and have studied herbs, vitamins, exercise and massage, I came up with recommendations to help you feel better about yourself, which in turn will help increase your sex drive with your partner. What better way to get a simple natural dose of “natural Viagra” without having to actually take that harmful pill. You’ll also find a list of things that you might be absorbing into your body that could be disrupting your hormones – this applies to men and women.

 

Life practices that will decrease your sex drive

  • Overeating and eating heavy meats
  • No cardio and lack of weight training
  • Alcohol consumption
  • Drug use
  • Being around negative people
  • Lack of fresh air and sun
  • No nutrients in your diet
  • Lack of sleep
  • Too many sex partners
  • Cumulative viewing of pornography
  • Tension in pelvic muscles or weak glute muscles
  • Consuming fake estrogens through food, plastics and chemicals
  • Bathing in chlorinated water daily
  • Too much stress or too busy
  • Built up emotional anger and stress

 

Ways to increase your sex drive naturally

 

  • Increase cardio exercise to at least four to six days a week, and for 30 minutes minimum.
  • Add in weight training a few times a week to increase natural hormones – squats are great for this.
  • Add garlic and ginseng to your diet.
  • Take out all processed foods.
  • Limit, or eliminate the use of birth control pills. Research has shown that they disrupt natural hormones and will decrease the sex drive of females.
  • Stop drinking out of BPA-filled plastics, bottles and cans.
  • Work less hours, if possible, or change a job that might be creating too much stress.
  • Book a relaxation, or deep tissue, massage to release tension.
  • Listen to music that relaxes your mind.
  • Eat lighter proteins like fish, turkey and beans.
  • Cut back on alcohol.
  • Do things that make you laugh.
  • Clean out your wardrobe and purchase clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
  • Watch a romance movie with your spouse or partner.
  • Talk to someone who will listen to your built-up emotional stress.
  • Change your shower’s water filter to remove chlorine.
  • Work on keeping your abdominal weight down.
  • Increase your sleep at night by getting to bed earlier.
  • Sit out in the sun to get some natural vitamin D.
  • Offer to do something nice for your spouse or partner which in turn changes the overall mood in your home.
  • Plan small mini-vacations to break up your routine.

 

I hope you review these suggestions, and consider what you can replace now with healthier practices. And, if I see an increase in public displays of affection, I’ll know a lot more people are reading my blog!

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BENEFITS OF MILK THISTLE (LIVER AND DIGESTION)

 

 

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The benefits of milk thistle

Have you ever heard of milk thistle? I’m in love with this powerful herb. A couple of years ago, I suffered from very high levels of stress from a few unfortunate emotional experiences. I lost my dog, who died unexpectedly, just got out of a toxic relationship, and was working way too many hours. I ate an all-organic clean diet, exercised my whole life, and thought of myself as the bionic woman of health who never got tired, or ever got sick. How that changed! I was so wrong.  My body and God were about to show me that wasn’t true.

 

None of us are above, or exempt, from bad circumstances in life. My liver, digestion and gallbladder all took on the brunt of any emotional stress I was feeling. Whatever sadness, anger or stress I had manifested deep into my organs, especially my liver. Anything I ate caused tremendous amounts of discomfort and left me baffled because I ate so clean for all these years. I was in denial about my emotions. Finally, after much pain and agony, I had to be honest with myself and my feelings. I had to find ways to regenerate emotionally, physically and spiritually. One of the regimens that I used in detoxing my body was organic non-GMO milk thistle. Every morning, I would get up and drink a whole glass of water with lemon. After my water, I would take milk thistle on an empty stomach, and let that sit for a bit while I got ready for work and before I ate breakfast. Before long, the inflammation in my liver dissipated over time.

 

It truly was amazing and a blessing to know that we have these healing herbs all around us. We just have to learn about them and study what their purposes are for us. After you read some of these amazing benefits, you will more than likely stock up and have this available in your home and make it part of your regimen as well.

 

Our poor livers

Having liver inflammation today is so common. A lot of people I talk to have been or are on some form of prescription drugs. If they’re not on prescription drugs, they’re using night aids to go to sleep like Advil PM, or use Tylenol for simple back pain that is loaded with acetaminophen, which is really toxic and damaging to the liver. Some people have lowered immune systems from certain viruses and have had long-term damage to their livers. There are some women that have taken oral contraceptives for many years, which has caused liver stress, as well as exposing themselves to our estrogen-dominant environment through non-organic GMO foods, plastics, cosmetics and household chemicals.

 

Not only does the liver take on stress from all these unhealthy practices, but it also takes on any emotional feelings of anger and distress. I just want to give the little guy a hug. Our livers are so important and put up with so much! I think it deserves a break, don’t you think?

 

Important liver functions

Below are just a few of the important jobs of your liver, and they’re pretty important. If you have a sluggish liver, you may show signs of fatigue, bloating, intolerance to high protein, have nightmares, insomnia, acne, hormonal imbalances (especially higher estrogen), anxiety, vertigo, excessive thirst, slower digestion, pain, constipation, memory problems and resistance to disease.

 

  • Filter’s blood from your digestive tract
  • Detoxes any chemicals
  • Metabolizes drugs
  • Secretes bile
  • Makes proteins for blood clotting

 

There are a lot of things you can do to slowly detox the liver as far as “lifting the load” from this three-pound organ. One of the regimens to regenerate the liver is by using milk thistle. This herb has been well documented and used for more than 2,000 years. The Romans and the Germans both used it for liver problems as well as bile regulation. During the 1960’s, researchers isolated some complex chemicals from the herb’s seeds that had pronounced liver-protecting properties. Today, many holistic doctors and wellness advocates recommend the use of milk thistle to protect the liver from many different toxins and from the use of drugs and chemicals. It is certainly recommended for chronic liver disease, polycystic liver disease, estrogen dominance, viral hepatitis, liver cysts and different types of liver cirrhosis.

 

According to the National Cancer Institute, silymarin (a compound found in milk thistle) protects liver cells from damage caused by alcohol and acetaminophen (the ingredient in Tylenol), and protects the liver by preventing toxins from entering cells by revving up enzymes that detoxify those toxins in the liver. Silymarin can also protect liver cells during chemotherapy and it appears to boost the effect of certain chemo drugs. I’m amazed by how powerful this herb is. So far, in all my research, there are no contraindications associated with taking this herb.

 

So where can you buy good quality milk thistle if you’re unable to grow it? You’ll find it in health food stores, vitamin shops or online. I buy from Wild Harvest, who offers certified organic and non-GMO milk thistle. Make sure to purchase a product that contains a minimum of 70 percent silymarin. The general dose is typically 210 to 420 mg per day.

 

I believe the liver should be detoxed slowly. Most of us have accumulated over time many toxins so we should approach the detox with much discipline and should take the time to do this little by little through sleep, organic food and herbs. Look for future posts on healing foods for the liver and remember, the liver is the one organ that can regenerate itself. So what are you waiting for?  Get started and God Bless!

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YOUR HEALTH AND CREATIVITY

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A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.” – Proverbs 15:30

 

A quick story

One morning I was leaving my neighborhood and happened to drive past a neighbor who lives a street over from me. As I passed by, I gave a friendly wave and smile that was undeniably visible. To my surprise, my neighbor didn’t respond back. In fact, the neighbor looked quite perturbed by my happiness. At first, I was mad because we’ve lived in the same neighborhood for more than 14 years and I see this person on a daily basis driving in and out of the same street. As I continued my drive to work, I pondered why some people don’t like to wave when they know it’s a nice thing to do?

 

That same day, I arrived at one of my corporate client’s offices to begin my day at work, but first had to take an elevator up 23 floors. There was one other person in the elevator who made no eye contact with me for the entire ride while looking at their phone. No “Good day, ” or “Hello.” Just utter silence 23 floors up. Can you imagine if we got stuck? It would’ve been complete torture for the other person, because I would’ve pushed the whole “Hello” issue and they would’ve had no choice but to cave.

 

Once I arrived at the office, I began my day. I noticed many people in the halls didn’t make much eye contact with one another, nor did many have friendly conversations. A large majority of people today seem rather disengaged emotionally and angry about life. I notice this not only in offices, but in many public places as well. Why do you think this is? 

 

Something’s missing

I know stress is a major contributor. People aren’t sleeping enough or eating the right healthy foods. But, besides these obvious reasons that I speak and write about often, there’s one thing that has stood out to me when getting to know hard-working, smart people. What is it you ask?  I believe millions of people in the United States with corporate desk jobs who are sitting at computers all day long in small spaces and working long hours are being denied their CREATIVITY. Yes, I said creativity.

 

I believe, by nature, humans were made to be passionate and creative. When people are suppressed or denied the right to creativity and passion on a daily basis, this can lead to anger and resentment. If we harbor these rightfully negative feelings over a long period of time, we may manifest symptoms of being sick, age faster and eventually acquire a major disease. We also run the risk of taking those negative feelings out on the people we love. It’s an energy and it needs to go somewhere doesn’t it? If this energy isn’t used in a healthy manner, I believe sickness isn’t limited to your body, but your mind and spirit can become sick as well.

 

This can lead to a dependence on some sort of addiction. Whether drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, overspending, overeating or even overworking. I’ve even noticed people becoming addicted to being sick. Their sickness becomes a comforter and a barrier to them not seeing the truth of what they need to change about their situation. I think a lot of it is fear based as well. People are afraid to make changes and some are too lazy to change. Some people really don’t know how to put one foot forward in making that leap into having creativity and passion in their lives. Some may feel paralyzed and numb to even the idea of it. Can you relate to what I’m saying for yourself or someone you know?

 

Infuse some creativity into your life

I listen hard to what people tell me and I hear their daily struggles. I work with people of all different ages, sexes and races. Some are single and some are married. Most have a lot of stress! Some are in jobs by circumstance because it pays the bills and others have jobs that they went to school for and are now bombarded by really heavy workloads that are meant for two people. Some have jobs that have become so mundane they pose no real challenge intellectually. Some careers have put restrictions on people allowing them to share their own ideas and opinions, which in fact produces an environment of not wanting to rock the boat. This can manifest a learned behavior of fear in a workplace.

 

Since I’ve gotten to speak to people over the years, I always ask them what they would want to do for a living if money wasn’t a priority. Some of the answers have been a dog day care, art studio, coffee shop, dance studio, farm, charter fishing or travel companies, vintage clothing line, soap maker, designer, children’s book author, park ranger and flower shop owner. Everyone who responded had either a master’s degree, and some even a PhD. The career changes they mentioned were all jobs that either required them to be outside or have contact with people. And, all were jobs that required CREATIVITY. Even though society has a faster pace and technology is faster than ever before, humans still crave simplicity, nature and other people. Even as mean and angry some people appear today, we all crave the same things. Isn’t that enlightening? If we realize this, it’s kind of hard to be mad at that person that didn’t wave to you isn’t it? (Side note to myself.)

 

Think about this: Have you ever noticed a football coach on television screaming and yelling with great passion at his players? Have you ever watched a ballroom dancing competition and the intensity of the dancers’ body language? Have you ever watched HGTV and observed some of the home designers, working on a project for hours without tiring? Have you ever watched the eyes of a musician or famous singer performing their hearts out? Have you ever visited a zoo and watched the excitement of the people working there? Have you ever taken the time to drive out to the country and visit a small farm and speak to the owners? Have you ever watched a fishing show where two men are fishing all day on the end of a boat under the beautiful blue sky? I know for some of you these sound like dream jobs and aren’t realistic, but I think you get my point.  What can we do to bring out that creativity and passion that was given to us? I think all of us can change up our Groundhog Day weeks by adding in a few positive elements to our lives to do your soul good as well as your health. I know it does for me. 

 

Remember, a cheerful heart will produce a lot of good fruit in your life as well as others. See where you can apply one, or two of these suggestions and let me know your thoughts.

 

Make time for fun and creativity

  1. Take one or two days a month during the week to see a sunset.
  2. Download your favorite stand-up comedian and listen to it on your way to work.

Download a list of songs that you listened to in high school or a time in the past that you enjoyed. Listen on your drive home from work.

  1. Take one, or two, lunch breaks a week outside to look at nature.
  2. Prepare a recipe once a week from a different culture that interests you.
  3. Write a love letter to someone you care about.
  4. Sign up for a dance class a few times a month.
  5. Register for a different language class online, or at a meet-up group in your town.
  6. Find a local farm to visit and walk around.
  7. Take a trip to your city zoo.
  8. Start a journal of the best memories of your life and share them with a friend.
  9. Invite friends over for a conversation night of wine and pick a topic of history to converse about.
  10. Find a piece of furniture in your house that needs to be repainted. Take it outside and work on it slowly.
  11. Take a new workout class at your gym that challenges you.
  12. Go to the library and take out books that you’re passionate about.
  13. Plan a small weekend trip to a place of history, or somewhere that challenges your mind.
  14. Volunteer at a dog shelter, or at an assisted living home.
  15. Sign up for an art class.
  16. Learn to play chess.
  17. Take a cooking class.
  18. Walk the beach after work, or walk a nature trail.
  19. Make something simple for your house.
  20. Work on old family photos, or a family genealogy.
  21. Plant new flowers, or start a small garden.
  22. Make a list of possible new job prospects that require less stress.
  23. Redo your budget to spend less on bills and more on fun.
  24. Watch less television and pick out movies that challenge your brain to have more conversation.
  25. Meet new people outside of your usual friends. 
  26. Get to know the older people in your family. 
  27. Try daily prayer for insight of personal change.

 

God Bless!

 

 

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TRYING TO BE PERFECT? ARE YOU TIRED YET?

Perfection and obsession…the need to impress others and yourself. Why?? 

There’s so much I want to say about this topic of perfection, I don’t know where to begin. Where shall I begin? 

 

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Over the years, I’ve watched and listened to clients who live out of balance in their own lives.  I have even watched myself chasing after the wind… and only to come up feeling exhausted.  You can be out of balance by working too much, exercising too much, socializing too much, buying more than you need, and obsessing about what you don’t have, or what you lack. 

It’s okay to want to be better and do better in life.  But, seeking balance should be the true goal to true happiness and good health.  In my mind, I’m thinking about where perfection seeking comes from, where does seeking more stem from?  There’s always a root cause of everything.  Here are my thoughts…

I think insecurity is one force that drives a lot of people into living out of their means and obsessing over their looks.  When we’re insecure about something, we want to seek validation through others, and one way people may do that is by working for things they don’t need.

For example, I know of a few people who lease expensive cars that are more than their mortgage payments each month, while they won’t buy Organic Food for their health.  Isn’t that silly?  I’ve also noticed a lot of people being driven to focus on body image so much, that it’s actually made them unhealthy to the point of getting a disease.  I know of some people who will exercise and take selfie pictures everyday in fear that they will gain just a little bit of fat.  Their obsession with their own bodies and their deep insecurities drive them to ignore others around them. Some will lose relationships over their own vanity…because they can’t see past their own insecurities, which in fact becomes narcissistic. How can anyone genuinely care for someone else when they’re obsessed with perfecting themselves?

 

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I think fear is a really big driving force behind perfection.  Fear of not having enough, fear of being too old, fear of being alone, because one doesn’t live up to what society thinks you should have…..and look like.  Our culture today in America is really good at making people think they won’t have enough to retire on, or aging isn’t attractive.  How many retirement commercials do you see on television, or Botox commercials?

I believe anger and loneliness can drive someone into seeking perfection at an unhealthy level too.  If someone is angry, or lonely they might seek to cover up that pain by obsessing over behaviors that become an obsession.  Sometimes those behaviors can become addictions and the true root of the behavior never gets healed.  I once had a client who lived on a fixed income, but yet she bought items in her house that she had two of everything she never needed.

We all have different issues we can work on as we age.  Are you seeking too much perfection?  Do you obsess over a better, or much cleaner house at the expense of never really enjoying people in your home?  Have you not enjoyed the beach, because you were afraid what others might think you look like in a bathing suit?  Do you own things that own you?  Do these things take up your time, preventing you extra time with family and friends?  Do you seek perfection in relationships without giving back, because you’re afraid to give up obsessions you’re holding onto?  Have you become addicted to wanting to be perfect? 

Trying to be perfect can take your health out of balance.  It can cause insomnia, fatigue, eating disorders, depression, weight gain, inflammation in the body, pain and anxiety.  How can you bring yourself back into balance?  Who will benefit from you becoming more balanced in your life? Where can you start?  Are you tired of trying to be perfect?  Stop chasing after the wind and be honest with yourself……..doing less sometimes equals more.

 

Suggestions…..

1. Stop comparing yourself to people on Facebook and spend less time on Facebook.

2. Replace negative words about yourself with good ones.

3. Replace extra expensive material items with more affordable ones to free up more time with family and friends.

4. Take less pictures of yourself and more pictures of nature.  Put positive focus on natural things that make people smile.

5. Learn to be yourself without seeking approval from others.

6. Remove vain, negative and materialistic people from your time.

7. Find ways to give back to people in your community.  (family, friends, strangers in need)

8. Make a list of things you’re thankful for that you already have.

9. Come to terms with past anger by seeking prayer and forgiveness.

10. Ask others close to you for suggestions on how you can improve.

11. Avoid television shows, magazines that influence vanity.

 
God Bless……